Don’t Be a “Must Be Nice”er

I have dedicated my Tuesday morning runs to turning off the music and turning on podcasts.  Sometimes they are health related, sometimes they are running related and sometimes they are mindset related but the goal is to have more knowledge and a better mindset at the end of my run.

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This past Tuesday I listened to an amazing podcast by Balanced Bites on female hormones, managing stress and the adrenals. I turned on this podcast to learn more about ‘Amenorrhea’ – something very common in female runners but is often pushed to the side or not spoke of.  If recovery and nutrition is an essential component to overall athletic performance then gaining control of these issues is just as important and should not be pushed to the side.  That being said, I am I am tackling this issue head on with as much knowledge as possible…but I will save that for someone else to cover because I want all audiences to keep reading this post!

STRESS.  We are aware that is can have a variety of negative affects on our body but why are so many people stressed? SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS. I am not a mother but I see the pressure everyday. To be considered a good mother, you should be doing, X, Y and Z, even if you still have the entire alphabet to get done before you can even think about X.  But what’s wrong with saying NO to Z?  Is it the guilt that you will feel when someone judges your inability to tackle the entire alphabet in a day? Most likely.  

There are two pieces to this – WE ALL NEED TO STOP JUDGING and WE NEED TO IGNORE THESE JUDGEMENTS.

There are too many “must be nice” ers…..you know those people that look at your lifestyle or your choices and say “It must be nice to be able to…” without really having any knowledge of how you got there or what your daily life entails.  These “must be nice” ers cause guilt and make us feel like we should be doing MORE because apparently our life is so luxurious.  And that one extra thing we feel we need to do can put us over the edge.  Embrace what others consider to be “must be nice” and know that all the things you are doing are sufficient and enough even if it means you may not be getting to X, Y and Z today.

“It must be nice to be able to sleep in over the summer.”

“It must be nice to run and workout everyday.”

“It must be nice to buy all organic food.”

YES. It is.

 I make it possible because I stop making excuses and make time for the things that I consider NON-NEGOTIABLES.  I value my health and save my money so that I can feed it the food it deserves.  I wake up 2 hours earlier than most so I can start my morning doing the things I love.  I spend most of my summer and Sunday’s doing school work and lesson planning.  But people rarely know the behind-the-scenes when they make those comments which is why these comments can be so hurtful and rude.

The most insulting comment of all is “Oh Mel does not eat that..”

People throw this line out there ALL the time to people who have strict diets without having any clue WHY their diet is the way it is.  If you don’t know someone’s history or journey then you have no idea how much your words can inflict pain or triggers.

But lets get to the root of that comment.  Does me turning down your food make you feel guilty and now you are going to shame me? Are you trying to speak for me despite having little knowledge of what my diet looks like? …Please let me speak for myself, it is my body.

So to the irritating phrase, “Mel doesn’t eat that”… – I have simply learned to be confident with my choices and try to surround myself with people who respect my decisions…but I still hear it.  So let this be my universal response…

You are right, I MAY not eat that…and it is not because I am rude or above you.  I simply made a decision to feed my body with quality food and I am going to stick with that.

No one should have to force something down to simply please someone else.  Your body is the driving force behind everything you do.  I have learned that listening to the signals it is sending is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your athletic performance.  You need to give it the fuel it deserves needs because it pushes you through all your grueling workouts.

Please.  Think before you speak.  Don’t judge and don’t be a “must be nice” er.  If you find yourself saying “must be nice” frequently, step back and think about why you are saying these things.  Jealously and envy are natural feelings but they can be dangerous and hurtful if you don’t know how to reel them in and change your mindset.

I am not perfect and have my moments of “it must be nice.” but when I feel myself doing it, I work really hard to alter my way of thinking.  Sometimes when I am exhausted during the week, I say “it must be nice to go home and do nothing after work.”….but then on rest days when I do nothing after school, I am bored within an hour.  It serves as a quick reminder that my craziness of a life makes me happy and my brain is simply not wired to Netflix and Chill all afternoon.

When I was injured in January, I was BIG into the “must be nice to go out for a run.” Ultimately, I was so jealous and my envy was getting the best of me.  I had to do a lot of self talk – “it’s nice to have an obstacle that is making me mentally stronger.”…and it was .  Fighting through Boston was more memorable because of my struggles.  It’s not always nice at the time but find a way to change your thinking so your obstacles can make you a better person.

I will end with this….

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2 thoughts on “Don’t Be a “Must Be Nice”er”

  1. This is awesome and so true. I experienced this over the weekend while camping with my family. One of my mom’s friends was visiting the camp site and as I reached for a handful of chips from the bowl, this friend said “Oh my GOD, Holly. You actually eat that? That’s not healthy though!” and every time I see her she always makes comments about my eating choices. I will order a salad out for lunch and she will say something along the lines of, Okay, there goes Miss Healthy again. I have learned to block out the comments but I definitely understand where you are coming from! I am learning that there is no need to defend my choices. If I want chips, I will have a few. Hell, maybe I’ll eat the bag. But if I want a salad, then that’s okay too! My body, my rules!

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    1. That’s the worst – being commented on for eating healthy and then just living freely and eating whatever! You know what’s right and when to just let go and enjoy yourself and that’s all that matters!!

      Like

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